Head Thoughts from Coutts Brain

As a person who is now in their late 20’s, I should not be cursing as much as I did in the that drunk blog.  That said, I curse a lot, in general, more when I’m drunk, and even more when I’ve been watching a lot of Spartacus.  Can you believe who died in that last episode?

Anyway, thank you to everyone who spent time with me and wished me well on facebook. I’m not really mad at Maggie for not coming out, I’m undecided on Sarah, and I do apologize for my butt dialing Edwin (though if he threatens me again, I will tell him to take a run at me, but if he does come at me, he best not miss).

I did not tell you the best part of my birthday.  The best part of my birthday was the shirt I was wearing.

Pretty hideous, right?

My mom hated that shirt.  So much so that she requested to not sit across from me during dinner.  For whatever reason, this gave me a great deal of satisfaction.  I think the shirt goes well with my stout belly.  I know its an ugly shirt.

The morning was tough.  I almost vommed a few times but kept it in mostly.  And on a beautiful day I got to go golfing with my eldest brother with an old fart.

The old guy made us put in from within 2 feet because it was “a tournament.”  No it fucking wasn’t, it was a friendly league cash game.  He said “I’d hate for you guys to win something and have to say ‘well I saw them pick up on a hole.’”  If you’d hate it so much, then you could just shut your fucking mouth.  That said he was an absolute gentleman otherwise, though it did cost me two strokes over nine holes.  But that’s my fault for not being a great putter.  Thanks to my brother for taking me out and getting me fed.  And thank you to his wife for allowing us the time.

Did I miss anything?  Anyone?  Bueller?

Oh, right, Lauryn…hate the purple hair.  Just saying.

Fuck it, let’s go.

So my effin brithday started like any other 27th birthday should, you go to work, nobody gives a shit, right?  Eh, people cared, I can’t deny it.  As much as I’d like to sit here like a baby and whine about how I had to work on my birthday, I can’t.  I mean, even the easter bunny has to work on his birthday.

SO my birthday started off fine, workin with craig, great guy.  I made some inappropriate comments at break about penises, per usual, and then I worked again.  Lunch rolls around and boosh.  I ask my dad “is the car fixzed?”  (for the purposes of this story, you must undertstand that one of the two family cars was broken).  Yes it is fixed.  So let’s go get it and I’ll grab something to eat and have a car to drive home from work in.  Sweet.  Looks good.

I go upstairs to take my midday relaxation crap.  My mom yells up to me from downstairs that she will be picking up the car from the dealer with my dad, and asks me if I want something.  Hell yeah I want something I want LUNCH.  I say that and she says she’ll pick me up a sub at stop n shop.  A lot of stuff went wrong here.

1.  I am on the toilet.  Don’t fucking talk to me when I’m on the toilet.  I am trying to get something important done, you can talk to me when its over.  Any conversation I have when I am in such a place should be null and void.  When I’m crappin”, it didn’t happen. I am not listening to you when I’m on the pot nor am I thinking abotu anything you say when I’m on the pot.  So there should have been no negotioations while I was there. Period.

2.  My ma was already late picking me up for lunch, what made her think she would have enough time to pick up the car, go to a supermarket and come back to me with enough time for me to drive back to work and eat a sandwich within a half hour.  There was barely enough time for me to go with my dad to pick up the car, for me to go to a drive thru and then directly back to work.  I don’t understand the logic here.

3.  Why is it that I’m late?  I am the only person who has any place to be at  certain time in the afternoon.  I mean fuck.  Nobody has any other schedule in the afternoon except me, I am the only one working in the afternoon.  WHY AM I THE ONE WHO ENDED UP LATE?  Shouldn’t we make sure I am back at work on time since i’m the only one who has ANYWHERE TO BE?

That said, very effective lunch crap, the rest of the day wasn’t so bad on an empty stomache.

FAST FORWARD

Dinner time.  Ming dynasty is now the “Sun Dynasty”  Wow you really fucking improved the place with that name.

Excellent chinese food, got plenty fo crab ranggon.  rangoon.  sorry.

Went to trivia with Boogs who was nice enough to drive me first leg of the journey.  We met up with Nate, and Kevin and maura and lost in trivia by one point.  We were so close to victory.  I could taste it.

I FUCKING HATE LOSING.

Andrew buckley, eat a dick. just saying.

If there’s anyone bad to lose to, its andy b.  Fucking guy called himself andy the ace once in a while but it never caught on.  Not when Buck is so easy to say.

Nuff about one of my oldest friends in the world.

I got drunk thanks to Boogs, Andrew, Kevin, Christina, and kinda downey who all bought me drinks tonight.  Got me right drunk.

Special thanks to T for coming out, holy shit.  Best wishes to him and Hobbes.

Thank you to Maura, and Nate for coming out to hang as well as MC and Jessica.

NOW the bitching.

Fuck you edwin.  I’m gonna butt dial you all I fucking want and you’re gonna answer like a bitch, deal with it.

Um also, kinda messed up that Maggie didn’t come out.

REALLY messsed up that Sarah didn’t come out.  Don’t care about yoru story about whatever.  MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!

Hmm  OH, special thanks to Bagshaw for her making my day at work all the more breaable, Sorry I was so ornery.

Also special thanks to Lauryn for being up when I was drunkingly uh typing this,.

And of course thank you to all that posted on my wall abotu my birthday.  wesome poem from nate, andrew brophy you son of a bitch you’re too funny and so on.

Special thanks to Chris Henry for being the first to post on my wall ON my birthday, tho zach tried to be cool and jump the gun.

OH wait, yeah, Zach.  What the fuck was with that shity birthday card thru facebook.  If you want to do something nice, just send me some sort of star wars joke…I thought you knew me better than that.

Anyway, I’m goign to watch the Spartacus Vengueae=asfdsnfe season finally again while going to sleep cus I need to see throats slit while I’m drowsy.

Here’s a picture of Lauryn from way back when if you don’t know who she is.

So if you haven’t read about it here’s what happens in the movie by Michael Bay that is scheduled to be made about the Ninja Turtles: the turtles are from an alien race, they were not made by the ooze.

http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=88213

There’s a link of what he said in response.  Everyone chillax, he’s got the franchise under control.  He wants to see a future where kids believe that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are not FUCKING MUTANTS.  Maybe I’m overreacting.  They might be mutants…just mutants who are from an alien race.  

Why do filmmakers continue to piss off the hardcore fans of franchises?  They continue to change stories people love under the excuse that it wouldn’t work in a movie.  I can’t tell you how many Harry Potter fans I know who hate all the simple tiny changes they made in order for the the films to work, let alone the huge changes.  Nobody has said, who has watched the Harry Potter films that (SPOILER ALERT) “Yes I am glad the Burrow blew up, it added to the pacing and made sense in the overall scheme of the franchise.”  You know why?  Because it wasn’t in the books, it wasn’t what they were familiar with.  

An aside, it also didn’t make sense because they later had that wedding at the Burrow anyway…you would figure the deatheaters who had been there before could find it again….oh right, magic blocked them or something stupid.

So Mr. Bay intends to change something about TMNT that is so engrained within the identity of the group, that it is in the name.  Teenage MUTANT Ninja Turtles.  So let’s change it to Teenage Alien Ninja Turtles.  At this point it is unfair to really call them Turtles also, because a turtle is an Earth species.  So Teenage Ninja Aliens it is.  Well, If they are aliens, and they are traveling from another planetary system, they would have to be sent as babies or eggs or something for them to arrive as teenagers, so I’m gonna say that would be a little illogical unless they are going to steal the backstory directly from Superman.  So let’s just go with Ninja Aliens.  Oh and ninjutsu was created in Japan, not outer space so lets assume they aren’t ninjas when they arrive.  So we are left with Aliens, which to be fair, was a great film, but its already been done.

Mr. Bay wants us to believe that aliens, came to earth, as they grew to their teens, they became ninjas, and resembled our turtles enough to be labeled as such.  Why?  How is that any more credible than them just being mutant turtles.  It worked in Spiderman and X-Men.  Why is it BETTER that they are from space.  Does Mr. Bay only know how to make movies about things from space?

You know, I used to like Transformers as a kid.  It was an awesome cartoon.  Now, to me, Transformers is synonymous with 3 hour action sequences.  There is so much that happened in the transformers series of movies that just made no sense.  Heck the third movie pissed me off right from the start because a secret government organization popped up out of nowhere that had ignored the previous two giant transforming alien robot conflicts, for no reason…the world wasn’t in enough peril I guess until the 3rd movie.

So Michael Bay gets to ruin another franchise I loved as a child so that when the next generation says “Why do they call them Teenage MUTANT Ninja Turtles?”  We can say “Well they used to be mutated from some ooze that was dropped down a sewer with a rat…” and they can interrupt us and say “BORING!” because they have no attention spans and no respect for their elders.

There’s no reason for him to not make the movie the way he wants, he did it with Transformers and those movies made tons of money.  And it is all about making money.  Hell, I saw all three Transformers and I’ll probably see this Ninja Turtles movie…because I love the Ninja Turtles….always have…cowabunga….

If they don’t fucking love pizza, though, I’m walking out of the theatre.  

For once, I am just going to shut the hell up.  I don’t want to fuck this up.  Though I did get mad at jeff tonight.  But i told him so I think its cool.  nice seeing dan and colin, I don’t owe colin anymore money which is good.

Ryan and Ali play with legos, the story so far: Apparently the jet whose wings open to reveal swords is piloted by an evil blue ninja, he is battling the fishing boat which can fly much like the jet can, and its two fishermen who know kung fu “Everybody in this world knows kung fu (Ryan)”. The fishing boat is backed up by the legion of nutcrackers, and most everyone has rocket packs. I think the blue ninja is evil because he wants them to read? But also they want to read so he’s good?

All of the disney princesses have joined with the blue ninja. Also prince charming and beast are there, and they are deciding who will be married to who. Beast seems to be marrying most of the princesses, which makes sense to me. But all of them get fish, from the fisherman. Wait, now nobody is marrying beast, he has a gf but doesn’t want to marry. Most of the princesses, including bell want to force him to marry, though, as the blue jet has gained sentience and may marry Cinderella, while the blue ninja continues his mission to force everyone to marry.

When asked why beast was doing what he was doing, he responded “because I want to kiss all the boys, all the girls, all the people in the WORLD.” In response to THAT, blue ninja says “Nobody can defeat me but tigress…wait, I mean shark.” beast, Princesses, blue ninja, and the jet have all decided to have tea. But Princesses Aurora has decided to use the blue Ninja as a weapon to fight Bell, knowing he cannot be defeated by anyone but shark.

All of the girls drool. and according to beast, they do it a lot. “Stop drooling on me” says beast, but an unidentified princess said “but I want to.” Ali says “Big girls don’t drool” her being much bigger than all of the princesses. For this she is put in jail, as the princesses did not take kindly to her words. The blue ninja and cinderella take time out from kissing to try and free ali, and as she says “Big girls know everything.” She has withheld all of the Princesses crowns after being freed. Also I guess the blue ninja cannot fly with a jet back, but instead leaps from place to place, being very athletic. When he leaps he clearly makes a rocketpack sound, though.

Mr turtle joins the fray in the fight against Ali, and proclaims his dislike for big girls. Ali proclaims herself the biggest girl and says she is ten, though she later admits she is not actually ten but pretending to be ten, because she is so tall.

The story concludes abruptly when ryan and Ali want to watch TV.

I would really like to know what love is, and if some one could show me, that would be even better.